Tuesday, 9 July 2013

Benteke wants out

Aston Villa's Christian Benteke has decided that he wants to leave the club because along with absolutely everyone else in the world, he doesn't care about them.

The striker handed in a transfer request this morning, or yesterday, and according to newspapers it has put clubs like Chelsea and Spurs on "Red Alert", which I think means they are going to be playing Command and Conquer a lot.  First they plan to make their base totally cool, since that is the best bit, then build lots of army dudes and tanks and just leave them to protect the base, then I will come and attack cos I know how to get all the scientists and super powered troops cos while they were busy making friends and meeting girls, I was learning the inside secrets of a strategy game.  Idiots