West Ham have completed the bargain signing of Andy Carroll for only £15million and £100,000 wages a week.
Some people have suggested that it may not have been wise for West Ham to invest all of their money on a player whose main strength is hitting things with his head, but for your benefit I have drawn a diagram of the difference in height between Andy Carroll and other things you will have heard of. Everyone knows what a tree is and most people know that Tails is that one that always makes you lose rings on the Special Zones but when you think about it, if you just got the amount of rings you needed in the first place anyway, he shouldn't actually cost you any. He just gets the ones you missed. If only I'd known this 15 years ago, perhaps my step dad would still be alive