Sunday, 9 June 2013

Vincent Kompany is hard

Man City captain Vincent Kompany might look like an absolute beast and that's because he is.  I would advise not trying to mug him based on the fact that he played 60 minutes of football with a concussion and a cracked eye socket.

The defender tweeted that picture yesterday clearly showing no respect for the laws of instagram.  How are you going to get sex from ladies if you tweet a picture of your broken face?  You have to look cool and sexy or you won't get any messages.  It's internet law.  That's why my profile picture is of me riding a wolf up a mountain with Scarlett Johansson behind me trying to put her hands down my pants.  People won't believe me that it's not photoshopped!

The joke's on them though because really it is.  I've never even seen a wolf!