Saturday, 1 June 2013

Theo Walcott admits children are better at football than him

England striker/winger Theo Walcott was taking a leisurely stroll down copacabana beach ahead of his nation's game against Brazil tomorrow night and noticed that all of the children were better than football at him.


Despite Gary Lineker's assertion that England have gone back to the 'dark ages' with their 442 tactics, Walcott is somewhat optimistic about his side's chances against next year's World Cup hosts:
We all know our job and that we need to do it now. The performance has to be slightly better but I didn’t think it was the end of the world the other day against Ireland.
Yes as long England play slightly better than a 1-1 draw against fucking Ireland they're going to beat Brazil.  You know Brazil right?  Even the kids are better at football than the England players.  The Independant wrote:
Watching children playing a version of volleyball with feet this week, he said that some of the skills, like  returning the ball with a shoulder, were ones that even he had not yet mastered.
After those particular skills the kids took it upon themselves to teach Walcott some even more advanced ones like passing and not being a moany little dick.