Danish sex champion, Michael Laudrup, has had his future at Swansea City dipped into uncertainty after the club cut all ties with his agent.
Bayram Tutumlu is the man at the centre of the controversy and it is rumoured that his attempts to 'dictate transfers' at the club is what has made them tell him to fuck off. In particular, Tutumlu wants to sell Ashley Williams for some reason and the chairman etc don't because then they won't have any good defenders.
Laudrup has known his agent since he used to play at Barcelona and they are best friends forever so Swans fans are worried that this latest exchange may prompt the manager to go somewhere relevant, like anywhere else. Luckily for them he once said that he would "probably like to stay for another season I guess. Whatever".
It's commitment like this that keeps the ladies clinging on to his every word. Treat them mean, keep them keen. It really works, but don't read it into it too literally. If you translate that as 'lock them in a rape basement for 10 years' you need to reassess.