Thursday, 6 June 2013

Roberto Martinez is big business

New Everton manager Roberto Martinez says that he intends to reach the Champions League, but that it won't be next year.  Or the year after.  Or the year after that, or the next year, but definitely at some point.

Despite looking like he lives down a hole in the woods, Roberto Martinez successfully steered Wigan to Premier League safety for far too many years until their inevitable relegation.  He wants to build on this and somehow break a top four that absolutely no-one sane knows is impossible to do so.  In fact, that's why he got the job:
"When David [Moyes] first came to see me, he sat down 11 years ago and we were in a bad state, and he said 'we're not going down'," said Kenwright.
"Roberto's first words were 'I'll get you in the Champions League'."
And therein lies the fundamental difference between the Scottish and the rest of the world.  David Moyes' promise was to hopefully not set anything on fire and that absolutely the worst probably wouldn't happen; Martinez promises that he'll get Everton in the Champions League because that's totally easy.  See kids?  If you just believe in yourself you can achieve anything!  Except Roberto Martinez who got relegated.  Also that guy next door who thought he could fly.  He couldn't.  Unless into the ground, and then latterly even deeper inside the ground counts.