Tuesday, 4 June 2013

Mourinho won't have lots of money to spend

Jose Mourinho's new tenure at Chelsea has begun with the Special One conceding that he won't be spending £100million again to turn his team into title winners.  Maybe like £80million or something way less like that instead.

The Portuguese pantomime hero has told journalists that by 'improving the team' he means just making them stop being shit by training and possibly mind control devices that he can wire up to his iPad and play from the stands.  Then when he's bored at half time he can play GTA for about ten minutes before realising that it's just not the same when it's not on a console, and that facebook is much better on a computer.  Also there's no wifi here either.  Then he looks at the rest of the apps he has for about 5 minutes and realises he never really needed an iPad in the first place.  Certainly not a 32GB one anyway.  I wonder if I should buy a kindle