Tuesday, 4 June 2013

Barcelona sign Neymar officially

Barcelona unveiled new signing Neymar yesterday and everyone went crazy like S Club 7 had played a gig or whoever the kids listen to these days.

The Brazilian star completed his £49million move and signed a five year deal with the Catalan giants, which means by the end of his contract I will be 32 and will want to kill myself.
"Money is OK but happiness takes priority. We decided to come to Barcelona. I had a lot of offers but I followed my heart.
 Aww that's so sweet.  We've already covered how Neymar needs to fucking man up and grow a pair, so hopefully he's seen the song I made for him.
"The thrill of being cheered when I entered the Nou Camp - it was hard not to cry,"
 It's not hard to not cry, Neymar.  I haven't cried in about twenty years and even then it was because I saw a man being strangled to death in front of my own eyes.  AND THAT WAS BECAUSE I STRANGLED THAT MAN HA HA HAA HHA AHAH AH AH HA H HA  AHAH A HA H AAH  AH HA HH AH AH AHH HA HAHA H AHAH HA HA H AH H H AH HA HAHA AHA HA HA AHA H AHA HHAHAH AH AHAHAHA HA AHHAAHA HA HA H AH AHA HA HA HA HA HAAH AAH breathe H AH HA HHA H HA AH AHHAHA HA H AHHAH AHA  HHAHA

I have actually never strangled anyone.  Most of the things I tell you on here are lies.  MOST OF THEM! HA HA AHH AH AHA HA  HAHA HA HA AHA AHHA HA AH AH AH AH AH AHAH AH AHAH AH HA AHAHHA AH AH AH AHAH AH HA AH