Wednesday, 29 May 2013

Liverpool sign Francois..... I mean Kolo Toure

Shower hiding weight watcher defender, Kolo Toure, has signed for Liverpool and will make the move at the end of his contract on the 1st of July.

You may not remember that time he pretended to be a car salesman named Francois in order to have a long lasting affair with some random girl, and even if you do, here's a video where Jack and I retell the story (2:55)

So good old Kolo will add some much needed experience to Liverpool's defence, especially with Jamie Carragher retiring and the rumours that Martin Skrtel is off to fight crime on the moon, or under the sea where he belongs.  He looks like one of the bad guys from Stingray.

Toure only managed 13 games last season, partly due to the fact he was suspended for 6 months following a failed drugs test.  And for someone like that the best place he could possibly move is Liverpool because there are no drugs there.  Never ever have I heard of a scouser travelling around the UK to sell illegal drugs.  Sincerely, little girl