Thursday, 30 May 2013

Adrian Mutu wants to adopt a Chinese sewer baby

Kids, if you ever wanted proof that drugs may have an adverse effect on your brain, look no further than former Chelsea striker, Adrian Mutu, who has announced on TV that God sent him a baby by hiding it down a toilet in China.

Now obviously that's not Mutu, it is in fact a man who swallowed an entire bag of coke in order to hide it from police, and the subsequent mug shot, but it might also stress how mental some people go when they consume a lot of drugs.  Adrian Mutu said:
"I couldn't figure out how to carry on living, how to eat my breakfast when I saw this story on TV. He's a special child. When I saw the baby I said 'I must adopt him, he has been sent to me by God.'
"Just look at this poor little fellow. He made such a strong impression on me. I told my wife we have to help him, we have to do everything we can.
If those aren't the ramblings of a clear lunatic then I'm not wearing an Abraham Lincoln disguise right now.  NO-ONE SUSPECTS THE LINCOLN.

What on earth must his wife be thinking?  As she opens her eyes, covered in pot noodle and tin foil, her shaking husband declares that he wants to adopt a sewer baby from China.  While rollerblading around the house wearing a boiler suit and smoking 18 fags at the same time