Wednesday, 3 April 2013

West Ham want Bony, Zidane has a bon-er (for Bale)

Wilfried Bony is apparently wanted by many clubs and would be up for a move to West Ham. The Ivory Coast international has scored goals for fun in Holland but nobody is sure if that means anything. For every Ruud Van Horserider, there is a Mateja Kezman. For every Suarez, there is an Arthur Afonsarelli Alves.

Bony said West Ham could be a "possibility", Real Madrid are his "dream club", his favourite colour is "burnt ombre", his favourite cheese is "Blacksticks Blue" and he "prefers 5ive over Blue". If you read between the lines, which is what we specialise in - he basically wants to play anywhere other than Holland because he thinks Holland is shit.

Gareth Bale is now the third best footballer in the world, if you believe Sky Sports. If he was a Beatle, he would be George Harrison. I'm not sure who would be Ringo Starr, probably Eboue. Zinedine Zidane is retired from headbutting greasy Italian defenders and now is a full time Real Madrid Director of Football. He wants to direct Bale, all the way to the Bernabeu (read in a Partridge Norfolk Nights voice).
“This year the player who’s impressed me most is not actually playing in the Champions League.  He’s playing in “the other cup” and that’s Bale. He’s unique."
Not too long ago I thought Spurs would qualify for the Champions League and hold onto Bale for another season, but you can just tell they're going to fuck it up and finish fifth. Good luck trying to convince him to play another season in "the other cup".