Wednesday, 3 April 2013

Leo Messi is broken

Lionel Messi injured his hamstring last night in Barcelona's 2-2 draw with PSG and this means two things - first of all that he won't play for a while, and secondly that he might be human.


The current thinking is that Messi might miss about 3-4 weeks of the season, which is bad because all the important stuff happens this month.  The only good thing about it is that scientists might be able to rebuild him even quicker with drugs.  According to my studies, by simply injecting the blood of on otter into his anus he will be immediately cured from any ailment, be it hamstring injury or being hungover.  I'm fairly sure that would work anyway, but my neighbour wouldn't let me test it on him because it was 3am and he didn't know who I was or something.  I'm trying to do science man, don't you want to help?!!!!  And you should make your door less difficult to break open in the future.  It took me like 20 minutes