Wednesday, 17 April 2013

Fabian Delph is committed

Aston Villa player Fabian Delph has announced that he is so committed to ensuring Aston Villa don't get relegated that he will miss the birth of his first child.

The midfielder makes the claims as his girlfriend, irrelevant has-tits, is due to give birth next month. I have drawn a graph above to illustrate how much I think you should value Aston Villa 's survival - and bear in mind that nobody cares about Aston Villa - so the only other explanation I can have for this is that pregnant women are gross, or that as I've suspected for a long time, it's actually made up.
There's another creature hidden inside your belly? Sure there is, Captain Science. Haven't you heard of Jesus? He was born inside a stork which he used to fly all the way to Israel to discover weapons of mass destruction. I bet you haven't read that in your "science books". You people have so much to learn from me