Thursday, 25 April 2013

Brazil 2014: Loud Noises

The one thing that the World Cup in South Africa will always be remembered for is vuvuzelas, that isn't a good thing. Apparently someone in Brazil thought that the noise of crowds chanting isn't enough and decided to follow South Africa's lead. Ladies and gentleman, boys and girls, children of all ages - Brazil proudly brings to you, the caxirola! Yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay


Why? Why are you doing this? Unlike the vuvuzela which has been used to annoy people for centuries, the caxirola has been designed specifically  to annoy me during the Brazil World Cup. A musician called Carlinhos Brown, who must be the Brazilian Chris Brown but with more dreadlocks and less girl-punching, has developed the instrument toy thing with the Brazilian minister of sports. 

The Brazilian President said - 
'It is an object that has the ability to do two things: to combine the image with sound and take us to our goals.'
What the fuck is she talking about? Take us to our goals? Is she being serious or is she actually trying to talk about football but went all Mum on us? "Ooh it's so much fun! You can rattle it and it makes a noise! I cannot wait for us to collect some goals!".

Next summer when I watch the World Cup from the safety of my living room, I don't want to see some Disney version of events. I don't want to see real Brazilian football fans priced out of the stands. I want to see the real deal, the real passion! i.e people shooting each other, fans rioting on the pitch and the police beating up everyone in sight with truncheons.