Thursday, 7 March 2013

Wayne Rooney isn't leaving Man United ffs

OMG WAYNE RONNEY HAS NOT IN STARTING LINEUP HE WERE LEAVING SUMMAR ZOMG lol!! !! !! !!


Every website in the world is trying to work out where Wayne Rooney is going to move this Summer because all of a sudden he didn't play one game against Real Madrid.  I can't even pretend to be neutral in the whole Man United fandom thing because I love it when they lose, but the ease with which everyone has been wound up is astounding.

The only reason anyone thinks Wayne Rooney, who is on course to be one of the club's all time highest goal scorers, is leaving is because the fucking bookies have worked out that if they say 'WHERE WILL WAYNE ROONEY MOVE' all of everyone is going to suddenly bet on where it is.  Football rumours are basically the new Cheltenham Festival for the book makers and if you want to know how much I enjoy betting adverts you should watch this:


According to various websites, Rooney is 4/1 to move to Man City and PSG, 16/1 to Bayern and Chelsea and blah blah blah.  He's not moving though.  He'll run his contract down until it expires and then move back to Everton to help them out or something like that.  Or maybe he won't.  Either way, I don't care