Fabricio Coloccini decided to clear a ball away from his own corner flag by doing an overhead kick the other day. "WOW what an artist!!" said the crowd until they discovered he's broken two bones in his back and is fucked now.
The Newcastle captain will probably be out of action until May and oh wow what a coincidence that he also now gets to go back to Argentina like he wanted to a couple of months ago. That really worked out well didn't it? I told my neighbour all about this and he was like "aw man I should totally break my spine so that I can get some days off work" and then he jumped off the balcony and broke his spine. That's definitely how it happened. Even ask Dave, he'll tell you that I was watching Jumanji with him at the time it happened