Thankfully, Aberdeen FC took all of the meat pies off the menu last night to save any spectators eating the dreaded animal and when I say thankfully I mean 'what the hell are you doing'?! The whole point of football games is Bovril and a Pie with meat inside it, regardless of whether or not I can distinguish whether it is a real creature inside. At least I know what a horse is.
Angus the Bull was tested to make sure he was safe for consumption but he was found to have horse DNA inside him as well, so he is now in jail. I told you to stop doing that, Dave!