Norwegian club FK Orn Kristiania (I've spelt that incorrectly) made a hopeful bid for David Beckham on transfer deadline day, and made him a very fair offer of no pay and a reduced members fee.
The additional offer of a free sports bag was unfortunately declined by Beckham, who instead decided to sign for PSG and donate all of his money to a children's charity. How am I supposed to compete with this guy? He's so handsome even I want to fuck him, he has so much money that he doesn't even need to be paid for his job and he donates it all to needy children? It just seems like that McDonalds meal deal voucher I got on my bus ticket probably wasn't enough to entice that hot girl I saw yesterday. Maybe it's because she had the same bus ticket. And because I wasn't wearing any pants. I guess we'll never know