EUROPA LEAGUE ACTION! Last night saw the return of everyone's 4th favourite European competition and what a night. I even watched some of it.
Papiss Cisse had two goals ruled out for offside against METALIST even though at least one of them was definitely about two yards on. The other one was level so technically he should have been awarded preferential treatment but the referee just pussied out of it. It might have something to do with the fact that the METALIST fans are frightening. As an example, here are some of the posters they were sticking up around Newcastle city centre yesterday:
What a lovely bunch of coconuts. It ended 0-0. Meanwhile, in Russia, Liverpool were continuing their comedy tour of 2013 by having a micro sleep at around the 70th minute. Hulk scored a goal because he is good at football, and then some other guy scored and I laughed out loud on my own. Brendan Rodgers will take back a delicious two goal deficit to Anfield and will probably spend the next week standing too close to people and constantly touch their face. He's like that overly friendly Uncle that you try to get away from, except now he's paid to hang out with you instead of court ordered.
Later that evening, Gareth Bale continued his mission to become 'best Welsh guy ever' by scoring a 40 yard Ronaldo style free kick. I still don't understand how you're supposed to kick a football and make it move like that no matter how many times I stare at it on a screen. Some people have suggested that I should actually go out on to a pitch and practise it to get better but clearly they haven't realised that football message boards are a much more valuable source of education. Also, how are you supposed to watch Harlem Shake videos if you're outside? On 3G? Yeh sure, cos I've got time to wait 20 seconds for a video to buffer