Liverpool have not been contacted by Europol, according to Liverpool who are worried that they might be found out as part of a gigantic illegal betting ring in Asia. INVESTIGATE!
You've all read the news about this match fixing malarky and so have I, but I was just too busy fannying around to write about it. There are a bunch of games, including massive Champions League and European Championship matches, currently under investigation by EUROPOL who sound like either a hipster band, or a really lazy name for an evil corporation in 24.
Amongst those games being investigated are maybe a Liverpool vs Debrecen one, hopefully that Italy v Scotland game that we got cheated out of, and probably that Dynamo Zagreb vs Lyon game that Lyon magically managed to win by the exact score they needed to progress and dump Ajax out of the group. It's easy to hide when that score isn't 7-1. And it doesn't all happen in one half. Do these people even know how crime works?!
They might as well have invited the chief of police to their private yacht before the game as well and given him some strippers to play with. "Some delicious drugs too, Mr Chief of Police?" "well I don't mind if I do. I sure hope nothing 'illegal' is going to happen ha haha haha hah a haha ha" and then they all laugh until somebody dies aboard their drug yacht while they plot more sports to cheat. Then the chief of police has try and solve the crime while very high and that just doesn't work very well. Believe me, as a chief of police, I would know.