SOCCER! Last night saw the return of international friendlies across the globe and it was so exciting except for Neymar who was shite apparently
Oh what's that? Damn right I was sitting in the front row of the Scotland v Estonia game. I even got my face on the TV but I don't care because TV is so 1992 and the internet is really where it's at for fame these days. As for the game, Charlie Mulgrew has turned into a really, really good player somehow and I had forgotten that Chris Burke was alive (and now 29 years old somehow). The rapid speed with which promising footballers are reaching retirement age is starting to make me feel mortal. Mortal Kombat? Perhaps. Scotland 1 - 0 Estonia
Meanwhile in Engerland, Brazilian Ken was doing his best to make everyone think he sucks by not scoring eight goals. "OH I HEARD HE WOZ BETTER THAN MESSI LOL SHITE" and then 34 year old Frank Lampard scored the winner. Excitement ensued, English media seem to think this means they will win the World Cup, and Jack Wilshere has been promoted to "greatest player ever in the world". England 2 - 1 Brazil
The only reason I'm remotely interested in what happened to Wales is because Gareth Bale scored and set up the other in a 2-1 win over Austria. Watching Wales without him is like watching a Lisa episode of the Simpsons.