Scary jewish action toad Avram Grant will be announced as Chelsea's new interim manager on Monday according to rumours. On the internet. The internet has never lied to me before so I know this is true
The only reason Benitez hasn't mysteriously disappeared from earth already is because people would notice and police investigations are bad. Trust me, I've been to like 100. The rumour now is that rather than simply killing him - which is STILL illegal, Dad - Chelsea plan to 'replace' him with former manager Avram Grant and also bring in Ray Wilkins as his assistant. That way he can enthusiastically run round the park calling people 'young man' and tell Frank Lampard he loves him, without having to do so behind the secrecy of a fence. And I suppose in that regard, there are actually a lot of similarities between my Dad, Ray Wilkins and the amount of police investigations I've had to submit evidence to.