The answer is of course the terrifying amount of pornography I've viewed while on 'private' mode, or for the purposes of this riddle, Wilfried Zaha's tweets. Specifically the ones where he reveals that he's moving to Manchester United:
"Looks like I'm on my way to the top of the Premier League"This could mean one of many things but mostly that he's going to sign for Manchester United. Stunned by the number of people who cracked his secret code, the winger swiftly removed the elusive tweet from his account and replaced it with this:
“I don’t know remember tweeting no such thing so I don’t know where the tweet came from #confused.”I've read that sentence about five times and I still don't really think he knows what he's saying. This guy could be the most genius riddle maker of all time. He may even be a challenger to Karl Heinz Riedler.