Tuesday, 15 January 2013

Vincent Kompany likes men

Vincent Kompany loves big hard tackles as much as the next man, and if that man is Alan Hansen, well baby, you've got a stew going

Kompany has told Twitter that he believes his tackle in the match against Arsenal was completely fair and that he was never not in control of the challenge.  Alan Hansen agrees:
"I will be flabbergasted and astonished if referee Mike Dean decides to stand by his decision to dismiss the Manchester City captain following Kompany's challenge on Jack Wilshere.
"I believe that it is an absolute certainty that Kompany will be cleared by the FA, though.
"His challenge was not two-footed and the ball was won cleanly, so I do not understand how the referee could even contemplate issuing a red card.
Although I agree that Kompany was in total control of the challenge, I still don't understand this furore that surrounds celebrating dudes launching themselves into wonder tackles.  There's a video of Philip Lahm making an amazing saving tackle somewhere and at no point does it look like he might seriously injure the other player.  Hang on let me find it

So that's some evidence that tackling isn't out of the game.  What the ref is trying to do is prevent massive guys from snapping little pacey guys in half, by making them aware that throwing a leg out at someone running towards it is going to hurt.  Like standing on a plug.  If the plug had bendy bits it would be fine, and it still works so well for many other uses, but it should never really need to be on the floor if you are running towards it.

Luckily for Kompany and Hansen, the whole thing is being turned into a feature film starring Daniel Day Lewis as Hansen and Tom Cruise as Vincent Kompany, since that casting makes about as much sense as Jack Reacher does.  According to my Dad.

My Dad is obsessed with telling me that Jack Reacher is meant to look like Vincent Kompany, and not a tiny man like Tom Cruise.

I think we've gone off topic here.  What's happening again?  Ahh yes Coloccini is leaving Newcastle.  I remember now