Do you remember hotly tipped Manchester City midfielder Michael Johnson? You do? Well you should probably tell him about it because something bad has happened
I would make fun of him for being such an enormously fat bastard, but the dejection and shame in his eyes makes me feel genuinely sad every time I look at this picture. I mean just look at him. You can visibly see the years of pain and regret behind his faded smile. It's like the caricature of himself that Barry from Eastenders plays in Extras.
And it's made even worse by the fact that he's posing for a photo with some random dude, in a kebab shop, and the guy only wants his photo because it's hilarious how fat he has become. Sometimes the only way to deal with tragic circumstances, like the loss of a potential international football career, is with comedy, and indeed the two are intrinsically linked. Unfortunately for Michael Johnson, he misread this bit in the book as 'sausage rolls' and then he ate all of the sausage rolls in the fucking world.
You fat wanker ahah aha haa ah a aha haa ah