Liverpool have now spent so long trying to work out what species Fabio Borini is that they forgot they need some actual strikers, so now they are going to compensate for this by buying all of the strikers in the world.
First on the rumour list is David Villa, who Barcelona only want to sell for £16million. At the age of 31 and on the comeback from a serious injury this makes absolutely no sense which is why I completely expect Liverpool to bid £20million. They must be the worst negotiators of all time.
"I want that twix but I won't pay a penny over £70"
"It only costs 50pence"
"Fine I'll give you £80. But that's my final offer"
"Really, 50p is fine"