There was a time in my life when I wondered whether I would ever be able to have sex with a pregnant girl, and then I saw Shakira in a bikini and I was like 'yeh I would'. Gerard Pique is loosely involved with this somehow.
Gerard Pique has successfully managed to impregnate a human woman and soon the result of an evening spent pretending he doesn't mind how much the cocktails cost baby will mean he owns his own person. I'm going to pre-empt the jokes in the papers about which club the child will sign for if it's a boy, but I assume it will be Barcelona since that's where he's going to live forever. And when I say that I mean that he's going to live there until he eventually dies - he's not immortal. Although I suspect putting your penis inside Shakira probably has some sort of magic benefits, like you shoot laser beams out of it or something like that. It probably comes out sparkly.