Tuesday, 8 January 2013

Fat Ronaldo is a marketing student now

Fat Ronaldo was absolutely incredible in his day but unfortunately he couldn't handle the pressures of being super awesome as well as I do, and so now he's going to study advertising in London.

Don't get me wrong, the guy is still a legend, I only call him Fat Ronaldo because he is that.  The current Ronaldo is like a well oiled machine so he gets to be called Ronaldo, whereas Fat Ronaldo looks like he ate all of the oil for the machine so that's why he's called that.  Anyway, he's going to study under Martin Sordell (Metro):
Eighteen years have passed and I’ve hardly studied at all. I feel a great need to become a student again,’ he said.
‘I’ve learned a lot in life, travelling, living abroad, just in the school of life.
‘But I also have to immerse myself in something. Learning from Martin will be perfect. I won’t leave him alone, I’ll be asking him questions all day, just like a striker. He’s going to have to tell me everything.’
I don't really understand why a striker asks questions all day, unless Ronaldo's understanding of being a striker is constantly asking questions like "Can I have another pie please" until he eventually gets one.  Imagine he lived in your house and just kept putting lying underneath the dining room table until food falls off your plate.  Like a dog, except it's Ronaldo.  That would be like totally weird maaaaan