Thursday, 24 January 2013

Coloccini has run away

Captain Fabricio Coloccini woke up from his drug induced state the other day and realised that he lives in Newcastle.  This is why he has run away.  Very far away.


Now on a mission to kill Bart Simpson, Fab has revealed that he has many 'personal issues' which need to be resolved by living somewhere not in Newcastle.  Argentina should do the trick because it's about as far removed from Geordie Land as you might imagine, and the defender had been hoping to facilitate himself a move to hometown club, San Lorenzo.  From The Independent:
"Finally, after long negotiations, we announce that Fabricio Coloccini will not join the roster of San Lorenzo," it read. "It is not possible to release the Newcastle player, and therefore the club will look for another alternative to strengthen the defence."
That put an end to Coloccini's dream of following his wife back to his native country and left the club captain trapped within the confines of a small North East town.  Or if you look at it another way, it didn't because he's just decided to leave instead.  Still under contract and therefore not at liberty to play for any other club until Newcastle release his registration, Coloccini has basically done what we all did at the age of 5 when we decided to run away and then got to about the end of the next street before realising that we hadn't packed the SNES.