Newcastle United are finally about to sign Mathieu Debuchy from Lille, after not doing so in the summer. How exciting
The right back, whose name makes me sing that Shapoopi song every time I hear it, but with his name instead, will sign a contract with Alan Pardew's team during the transfer window that is about to open, and all I can think now is 'poor Danny Simpson'. He's going to become one of those players that you laugh when you remember them because you totally forgot that they existed, like Ronny Johnson or Oyvind Leonhardson.
These last few months must have been horrible for Danny while he waited for his inevitable replacement. Like when your girlfriend texts that guy from her work all the time and then they go out for drinks together, and get married and have children and get a restraining order against you. Just because I've never talked to her doesn't mean that I shouldn't be allowed to live in her shed