Wednesday, 5 December 2012

Footballers are smart (horse related)

Have you heard the old Icelandic proverb "don't buy your girlfriend a horse, when she lives in a flat"? This guy hasn't.

Leroy Fer plays for Dutch side FC Twente and is really bad at being presents. Leroy wanted to buy his girlfriend's affections, and nothing says "I love you" quite like a horse. £22,000 lighter, our man thinks he's onto a winner, "bitches love horses" - he says to himself.

Believe it or not I am a real human with a real girlfriend, who even lets me touch her. Because she is my girlfriend, I know she lives in a house and does not have enough room for a horse. Unluckily for Leroy he and his girlfriend never had the old "do you own a field large enough for a horse" chat. When he showed up in his Renault Clio with a horse in the back she said,
"what the fuck is that?"
"a horse my darling! I bought you a horse because I love you"
"but I fucking hate horses!"
"and I live in a tiny flat"
"so you're saying you don't want the horse?"

All's well that ends well, the horse was returned to the shop and now spends it's days solving crossword puzzles.