Liverpool boss Brendan Rodgers couldn't attend Sunday's game against QPR because he kept pooping himself or he had a sexually transmitted disease.
Ho ho ho - what japes! It's actually a parody account so don't get too excited but the reason behind the face touching manager's absence from the match is still not entirely clear to me. Liverpool say he 'has a bug' but does this mean that he is ill, or does he actually have a giant bug that lives with him and he had to look after? Maybe the bug is his arch enemy from another dimension and he has actually been having a battle to the death for several days, on top of a mountain, with swords and lasers. It might sound stupid, but it's still more realistic than QPR not being relegated this year. Here's their entry to next year's Grand Prix
It only cost £80billion to build as well