Thursday, 1 November 2012

West Ham want Rio Ferdinand

Manchester United's ageing defender Rio Ferdinand turns 34 next month and this isn't the kind of powerful youthfulness Alex Ferguson planned on trying to win another Champions League with.  That's why Fat Sam wants to buy him.


Originally an £18million signing from Leeds United, Ferdinand is arguably one of England's great central defenders and his Manchester United career has been paved with gold.  Fields of Gold?  Probably not.  The lure of his old club West Ham may be enough to entice the drug test fearing centre back with a move, but if Sam Allardyce's persuasive skills aren't good enough he may also be tempted with a move to New York to join Thierry Henry in MLS.

And if he turns that down then I just don't know what to suggest.  Maybe he could open an ice cream shop for racists and when they come in the door a trap door shuts behind them and the floor starts to disappear and a giant hole opens up and the racists have to jump down it and then they're gone forever. Everyone knows that ice cream is a racist's biggest weakness.  That and fear of change