Thursday, 15 November 2012

Was Zlatan's goal the greatest goal ever?

You've probably already heard this but Zlatan Ibrahimovic scored an over head kick from 30 yards last night.  Oh you had heard?  I see.  Ah well

Now while journalists in the UK were almost literally jizzing in their own face, like when you lose control over a hose, I was just chillin' and acting all cool.  Through the grapevine I heard that Zlatan had done something amazing - that potentially he had scored the greatest goal of all time.

I worried.  If I watched this goal, and it truly was the greatest goal of all time, would I ever want to see another goal ever again?  Would I have to kill myself, right that minute?  Would I even have a choice?  Would my head fall off through sheer excitement?  I was filled with intrigue.  And Tennants.

Slowly, my phone found a clip of 'the greatest goal ever scored' and I prepared to reassess my life values.  The clip whirred into life and I witnessed it.  It was happening!  Here it comes!  OH MY GOD IT'S GOING TO HAPPEN NOW AND THEN

It's just him fucking booting a ball over his head into an empty goal.

I do stuff like that when I'm fannying about in 5 a side all the time.  "OH BUT IT WAS AGAINST ENGLAND" they say.  So what?  Ryan fucking Shawcross played for England last night - I'd have been surprised if Zlatan hadn't scored a 30 yard bicycle kick.

To summarise: the goal was quite good.