Monday, 19 November 2012

Snoop Dogg wants to invest in the Hoops, dawg.

Snoop Dogg has revealed that he wants to invest in some shares in Glasgow Celtic because he loves the banter, and because he's rich.  Sorry about the headline, I feel like you expected more.

The rapper, who I think is now called Snoop Lion, was speaking to someone recently about Celtic and how they were his number one team.  As one of the only very famous rappers who likes soccer, Snoop thinks Celtic are the team for him since his main man, David Beckham, confirmed as much to him.  He said:
'I got a lot of interest in soccer. It’s not a new thing for hip hop stars to invest in sports teams but it is a new thing for hip hop stars to invest in soccer teams. 
'I didn’t catch the whole Barcelona game but I watched the highlights. I know Barcelona are a big deal, and it shows Celtic are a big deal as well. 
'I see how passionate Celtic fans are about their team and I could see myself making an investment if any of the board wanted to sell. 
'I haven’t really thought how much. I don’t need to run a soccer club but enough of a percentage to get me on the board so I can be heard. 
'I want to bring a bit of Snoop to things. 
'I am passionate about my sport. The boxes at Celtic would never be the same once I have hosted a party there.'
Well, Snoop, you may have your bling, super models and your hip hop champagne pool parties, but you haven't ever partied until you've been so hammered on buckfast that you get thrown out of the Cat House.  That's a VIP area only a few have discovered.  Also, until you've tried to shag someone down Bath Lane and stopped to buy a 2am Scotch Pie from Greggs you similarly haven't yet provided party swagger that you can boast to be truly 'world class'.

Or something.  Other jokes I could make here would be that currently VIP boxes in Celtic serve irn bru instead of champagne and some other stuff about how the Scottish community could try and act like they know hip-hop stuff while they ride their highland cows to the shops to buy milk.  Why don't they just milk the cow?  Another problem solved