Wednesday, 28 November 2012

Rafa Benitez says Torres is awful

Rafa Benitez was almost certainly hired because Abramovich believes he can get the very best out of his man, Fernando Torres.  INCORRECT

Rafa has correctly identified that Torres completely sucks now and has lost the one true weapon - his pace - that he had.  This weapon was not as deadly as say, a gun or even a saucepan in the right circumstances, but just because those things have my finger prints on them doesn't mean I used them to kill.  I mean uhhhh what missing waitress were you talking about?


Abramovich is believed to have been convinced Benitez was his best option after seeing a Gillette advert.  The powerful slogan turned his mind to how the new Spanish boss could turn Torres into 'the best a man can get' but it transpires that this is going to be like finding a deodorant can with still a little bit of spray in it, but then the spray becomes air half way through.  You're still pleased you have deodorant but it was no where as good as when it was full and didn't miss open goals.