Tuesday, 23 October 2012

Zlatan is an award nominated writer

Zlatan Ibrahimovic is not only the world's greatest ever man, but he is now also nominated for a prestigious Swedish literature award for his book, about himself.

The striker is up against some other books but none of them feature quite as many stories about how much they hate Pep Guardiola and Barcelona in general, and also none of them mention the word 'Zlatan' anywhere.  At all.  How are you supposed to win a writing award without mentioning Zlatan?  Here's a quote from his book:
“[Guardiola] was staring at me and I lost it. I thought ‘there is my enemy, scratching his bald head!’. I yelled to him: ‘You have no balls!’ and probably worse things than that.
“I added: ‘You are shitting yourself because of Jose Mourinho. You can go to hell!’. I was completely mad. I threw a box full of training gear across the room, it crashed to the floor and Pep said nothing, just put stuff back in the box. I’m not violent, but if I were Guardiola I would have been frightened.”
There's nothing quite so scary as telling someone about how scared they should be.  Why only the other day a lady in Costcutters only gave me £5 in change when it should have been £10, and later I thought to myself 'OH BLOODY HELL I WANTED THAT MONEY'.

Horrifying stuff.