El Classico happened again last night and it was 2-2. Ronaldo and Messi scored all of the goals and it was very nice. We'll probably explore this more in our weekly web-show on Copa90 on Thursday, but Ronaldo became the first guy to fly a rocket in space in that game.
In this scenario, Ronaldo is clearly the more ambitious, go-getting brother whose chiselled good looks and elite athleticism have propelled him to stardom in his chosen profession, and Messi is the little stoner who delivers pizza but one day discovers that he too has a talent. The two go head to head in different teams with Ronaldo always trying extra hard but then Messi just accidentally finds himself clean through on goal without knowing how. 'My legs just did weird stuff' he says as scientists disect his brain to discover that he actually sees things in colour and this is why he plays for Barcelona, because as we all know, colour was invented there in the 1950s by Gerry Anderson, when he filmed Stingray.
TROY FUCKING TEMPEST