Lionel Messi's girlfriend has given birth to what they claim is a human child and we should be thankful because whatever it is, we now know that the human race is safe from alien attack for the time being.
As we can see in this exclusive picture, they actually gave birth to the child in Carlos Puyol's house and then all of the Barcelona squad came around to give him presents. Named 'Thiago', Messi's son has already been given the number 40 shirt at Barcelona and is already better than Stewart Downing. Interestingly, Aaron Ramsey has now scored two goals without anyone dying, so I think that's scientific proof enough that if two goals are scored without a dead celebrity then a protector of worlds is born instead.
I for one fully embrace our new Argentinian silky skilled overlords.
Oh and congratulations to Lionel Messi.