Sunday, 14 October 2012

Craig Levein sucks, looks homeless

Scotland lost to Wales the other night even though that isn't a real country and now Craig Levein's side have to win in Belgium if they are to qualify, according to the man himself.

Levein basically looks like when he was told he'd be Scotland manager, in the space of a week afterwards his wife left him, he discovered how much cheaper wine is and then just stopped caring about anything anymore.  If he were a superhero in a movie we'd have been told by now that he's been living in isolation for years, and has not shaved to illustrate this.  Also he's now wearing sunglasses to further underline his nomadic state.

It's usually right before the end of the second act finishes that he realises he has to conquer an 'impossible' goal like jumping out of that massive hole in Batman, or when Rob Burgundy gets invited to host the news again, that he suddenly becomes awesome and can fight massive dudes that he was getting pumped by previously so hopefully for Craig Levein that impossible act is beating Belgium on Tuesday because at the moment, we are absolutely shite.

The most annoying part about this whole situation is that Scotland has arguably the best collective squad of players we've had since about 1996 yet Levein elected to not bother getting our best striker (Steven Fletcher) back playing until last week, and also decided to make us shit.

Maybe it's not his fault, but it is.  And he does absolutely no favours to himself trying to dress up in someone else's suit and wearing sun glasses he found lying on the floor outside the Barrowlands while he orders Kenny Miller to try and be good at football.  Has anyone actually asked him if he's OK?  He genuinely might have gone mental