Saturday, 22 September 2012

Zlatan will probably just buy his hotel

Since moving to Paris St Germain and scoring all of their goals, Zlatan Ibrahimovic has been living in a hotel.  He quite likes it and so he's decided he'll just buy it.  Because he can do that.


That's a picture of Le Bristol, which is a very large hotel just around the corner from the Champs Elysees and which currently costs PSG €3000 a day to hire for their star striker.  Now he and his partner have decided that they might as well just buy the whole thing
"We are looking for an apartment. But if we don't find anything, then I'll probably buy the hotel."
I then fully expect Zlatan to build a giant statue of himself just outside the building so when he does eventually gain too much power the residents of Paris can pull it down with a tank in a symbolic gesture of dictatorial rejection.  I'm also very upset to learn that his girlfriend/wife/whatever isn't that hot


Well, I mean obviously you still would, but it's Zlatan.  And tbf he's kind of unfortunate in that he will never be able to find his true love since it is himself and as I learned yesterday, people cannot impregnate themselves.  Unless they are cloned together with frog dna and change sex as a result of their environment.  He'd still then need another person to impregnate him, and so his girlfriend would also have to change sex.

If I'm totally honest this sounds like an awful lot of work, I think they should just leave it as it is