Wednesday, 5 September 2012

Wayne Rooney is fat now

Poor Wayne Rooney has to sit on the sidelines for the next few weeks while he waits for his leg to not fall off and he can spend this time wisely, by doing things like 'exercise' because Alex Ferguson thinks he's fat.

The England forward has blamed his poor metabolism and love for 'bevvies' for the extra weight he has definitely gained over the summer, and readily admits in some book thing he's done that he returned to training about 7 pounds overweight.  His manager told a newspaper reporter that he was a fatty fat fatty and he needs to stop munching on cakes and Rooney said that he agrees, and also that he is jealous of Ryan Giggs who can eat whatever he wants!  omg.

"Early July: the first day back at pre-season training. I'm like most blokes, I put on a few pounds after a holiday. Even if I don't train for a week, I put on two or three, but when I get back to Carrington for the first day of work, I'm in for a shock. The scales in the club gym tell me I've put on a few more pounds than expected – seven. Seven!
"Then I remember – I drank a few bevvies while I was away. I'm stocky. I'm not like Ryan Giggs, all bone and lean muscle. But I gain weight quite easily

Those quotes are from Rooney by the way - not Mr Motivator, who just came into my head.  And tbh that's a really poor choice of words by me because that looks like the exact kind of thing he would do if taken in a literal sense.