Monday, 3 September 2012

Maloney: Scotland aren't rubbish

Racist saliva enthusiast and now manager of Serbia, Sinisa Mihajlovic has said that Serbia are better than Scotland and will probably beat us. HOW DARE HE!

No amount of incredible free-kicks can make up for spitting on someone, it's just so gross. If someone spat on me, I'd almost certainly Hulk out and beat them to death - the honourable thing to do.

Scotland are to play Serbia in their (our) first World Cup qualifier and Shaun Maloney thinks that Mihajlovic should shuuuuuut up. Being all of 5ft5 and using the classic "we will do our talking on the pitch" clich√©, Maloney has probably reduced the Serb to a quivering, shit-stained mess. I'm reasonably confident about this Scotland squad and playing at home will certainly make a difference. Then again we are Scottish, which means we will definitely lose in an emotional hurricane of pies, irn-bru and heart-ache - leading to multiple heart-attacks and domestic violence.

If only Harry Potter and super-rodent Steven Fletcher could be friends - then we'd actually have a chance. Rhodes and Fletcher up front. Stop arguing over who has the hardest Dad and get it sorted you dicks. I'd like to see Scotland at a major tournament before I die.