Saturday, 15 September 2012

Handshakes: Judgment Day

OH MY GOD! IT'S TODAY! Anton Ferdinand and John Terry are going to be on the same pitch, at the same time for the first time since the race war began. Will they handshake?

NO! Anton Ferdinand has already said that he will not shake John Terry's hand. I predict a riot. Mark Hughes has asked the league to scrap handshakes because footballers have the mental age of five-year olds. I have a real job and not only have to shake hands with people I don't like, I even have to talk to them - it's so hard being a real grown up.

If it came down to a fight, I think I'd back John Terry. He comes across as the kind of person that would punch you in the back of the head with a knuckle-duster, as you innocently walk down the street. His mate Ashley Cole would film it on his phone and upload it to Twitter.

Hopefully we can get through this game today and both teams, and fans walk away with their dignity intact. What's more likely is royal rumble that ends with Rio Ferdinand running onto the pitch and knocking out John Terry with a steel chair - and thus becoming the Hardcore Champion.