Monday, 24 September 2012

Andy Carroll used to have Bebo

Like many of us, Andy Carroll used to have a Bebo account.  And because most of the people who actively used Bebo grew up in sewers, that is why it died.

The Liverpool/West Ham striker still has his Bebo open and what a pleasant reminder of the old internet this is.  I remember a time when Myspace was cool and slut hunting was an art form and acquired skill, but then all the shitty bands in the world started joining, it became normal and you couldn't use it because all the minks and idiots wanted a piece.  Why do they ruin everything?  If they aren't messing up housing estates or the internet, they're downloading everything for free and making it illegal.

When I pointed out to some absolute mink the other day that stealing music and films online is illegal, he said 'but it's really expensive' I shouted at him and said 'oh cool that's totally fair.  I'm going to come round your house and steal your car then' and realised that I was only angry because he was ugly.  If he'd been a hot girl then I'd probably have given him my hard drive.

I think the most important thing any of us normal people can do before we die is have someone delete our internet histories.