Friday, 28 September 2012

5 Reasons Man City Will Win The League

Here are some reasons why Manchester City will win the league.  I made them up

1.  They have lots of good players

Players like Sergio Aguero and David Silva and now they have this Garcia dude who's meant to be alright.  Usually when you have the best resources available you achieve the most, unless it's FIFA and the game is cheating against you.  Or you're playing Pro Evo and the game is cheating against you.  Or you're playing Street Fighter 2 and Vega keeps killing you over and over again, because the computer is cheating you.

Basically Man City just need the Premier League central brain computer to start cheating them so that they lose, or alternatively I could just accept that at the age of nearly 27, I shouldn't still be getting angry at computer games.

2.  They have lots of money

So if they aren't winning by January they could just buy all of the rival players.  This model worked well in Scotland for about ten years by Rangers and there are no possible downsides to it.  I wonder what happened to that system actually....

3.  Carlos Tevez won't be on a golfing holiday for most of the year

So can actually be available for selection and help them break free of Man United.

He scored like a million goals last year, if my memory serves me correctly, and now he actually wants to play football again so will try.  I get the impression that it's just his girlfriend/wife that causes him to act like a nutter, since she was the one trying to make him move to Brazil or Argentina or wherever it was he wanted to go last time.  Women are powerful creatures, my friends.  I'm not going to double or even single check this but if she currently lives somewhere near England, Tevez will be awesome.

4.  Roberto Mancini thinks they will win the league

Old sexy hair himself believes that Manchester City will definitely win the league and he wasn't even like 'I think we will win the league' he just said it all cool and hipster like.
"We will win the title (but) I agree it is more difficult the second year."
Oh what's that?  You think we won't?  Pfffft get a load of this guy!  *points with thumb to guy to his left*

5.  Mario Balotelli has the potential to end the universe if they don't

Mario Balotelli has been unusually quiet over the last six months or so and this makes me think that either all those rumours about him were absolute nonsense written just to make people click on their website links, or that he's saving up all of his mischief for one big 'to end them all' type prank.  A guy at school once told me that two kids in his last school dropped a massive block of potassium into the swimming pool and it blew the roof off.  I don't know if that's true, exaggerated or even possible, but I'd like to think this might give him some ideas.