Matt Jarvis is about to complete a crazy £10.75million move to West Ham. What a bargain!
The 26 year old England international - woh woh woh... when did this guy play for England? The only things I know about him is that he plays for Wolves and that he has a head. Perhaps that explains why he's suddenly worth so much money, because when you consider the fact that Arsenal signed Cazorla for like £16million, suddenly it doesn't seem like such a great idea. And here was me thinking Sam Allardyce was a transfer genius.
That's like buying an iPhone from china on ebay and then being annoyed when it doesn't do any of the features the real one does like phoning people. It's just a deported child in a cardboard cut out of a phone. And it needs food and water apparently. Get me customer services!