Thursday, 16 August 2012

The Premier League hates pirates

Piracy costs the Premier League millions, because they have to keep buying more rum and enslave more ethnics in order to meet the demand of the rapscallions they encounter on the seven seas.  SCIENCE

So although every single one of us would prefer to watch the football on Sky, or basically just any legitimate TV channel, sadly not all of the games are available and so we must pirate them from the internets.  Unless of course, you live in Europe.  Or just anywhere that isn't the UK.  And when I say we, I mean no-one that I know, and certainly not me.

I put a page break here before the rest of this turned into Dr Seuss.

The Premier League has said that it shut down 30,000 illegal streams last year and plans to do even more this time, whilst also introducing its own brand of sharia law to the internet, so anyone who steals anything will walk the plank into that giant monster pit thing in Return of the Jedi, which looks suspiciously like a vagina

That's basically it.  The Premier League don't want you to stream stuff illegally, kids.