The Manchester United striker had to go under anaesthetic for surgery on his leg which is remarkable if only for the fact that I spelt that word correctly, first time, with no help from my computer.
I'm not going to bore with you details about the surgery because they are totally gross. If I wanted to know about the intricacies of stitching someone's leg back together I'd have checked on that guy I ran over earlier, but instead I drove to Tesco and bought some crisps because crisps are delicious.
