Tuesday, 28 August 2012

Surgeons stunned by Rooney's leg cut

Professional doctors have apparently been stunned by the severity of Wayne Rooney's leg, gasping "OH MY GOD THERE'S AN APE ATTACHED TO THIS LEG" ha aha ha.  They didn't really say that.

The Manchester United striker had to go under anaesthetic for surgery on his leg which is remarkable if only for the fact that I spelt that word correctly, first time, with no help from my computer.

I'm not going to bore with you details about the surgery because they are totally gross.  If I wanted to know about the intricacies of stitching someone's leg back together I'd have checked on that guy I ran over earlier, but instead I drove to Tesco and bought some crisps because crisps are delicious.