What is small, has giant thighs and kicks a football really, really hard? ROBERTO CARLOS. He's retired because he's bored of kicking footballs really hard and he can't hit them that hard anymore now he's 40. Carlos is hoping to organise one last game against Real Madrid before he stops playing football and turns into a crime-fighting midget who literally kicks criminals into jail.
Little known fact- Roberto Carlos took 10,000 free kicks in his career. 100 went in, 1,000 went into orbit and 1 killed a guy. Scientists say his thighs have their own gravitational pull and others just think they are really disgusting. Farewell Roberto Carlos, you scored the most mental goal the world will ever know and you were the best cheat player ever on the old Pro Evos.